At home therapy: use your body

Gaining a better understanding of your partner and having your communication match the level of devotion and commitment you had when you first found love is possible by using a resource that costs little to nothing: your body.

 

1. Getting on the same eye level: If your partner is seated, then sit down. If they are standing, and there is a distinct height difference, ask to sit down to talk - feel free to state why, since this request is so you can feel you are understanding things from their perspective. 

2. Leaning in with curiosity: Did you ever notice that when you are interested in something or want to pay attention more clearly, your body leans forward with anticipation and excitement? What would it look like if you communicated that to your partner, that you are hanging on their very word?

3. Nodding with understanding: While a nod during a conversation is simple, the technique communicates that you are following what the person is saying. Please note: understanding DOES NOT automatically indicate agreement. Communicating through your body language, "If I were in your shoes, I would understand how you experienced that".

Next time your loved one addresses you with a thought, concern, or conflict, do a body check and make a few minor adjustments in order to communicate that you are seeking to understand things from their point of view, how they like it while showing respect and desire for connection.