Respect: the language of COMPROMISE

What can be done in times of relational distress, when both partners are feeling as though control was beyond reach, what once was a deluge of words was now looking more like deafening silence?

Are you feeling afraid as though the trap of chronic conflict has become inescapable - you are both so paralyzed in your own ideas or even possible solutions that the idea of considering another option seems like silencing your own voice and surrendering your independence? 

Although daunting, this very fear can be a pivotal junction in your relationship. It can be the catalyst to a successful repair or can be yet another nail in a relational coffin. The momentum toward defeat is not new information to most couples. But how can this fear compel a couple toward repair and a more intimate relational experience?

Respect is the language of compromise. Compromise communicates respect. 


S O F T E N.
Give a moment to consider the emotion that is fueling the sense of fear. Once you identify the root emotion, see if you can mentally move the emotion from what can be a "hard" emotion (like "angry" or "depressed") and cognitively shift it to a softer emotion (like "annoyed", "disappointed", or "inconvenienced").

B R E A T H E.
Use the breath to literally breathe softness into your body and your mind. There is a softening element that enables emotion to remain tender. This tenderness generates an emotional flexibility. This is the foundation to opening a dialogue of respect. 

So, how can the very thing that seems as though it will rip you apart from your partner be the art form that draws you toward each other? 

Respect is the language of compromise. Compromise communicates respect. 

When there is a conflict that you feel is your "frequent landing", such as household responsibilities, finances, parenting, family, or even each other, consider the art of communicating respect through making a compromise: soften your emotion, breathe, and in that tenderness, your ability to find a compromise is more likely. 

Now, what to compromise?

What are the non-negotiables? What is there no-budge room? Lie those larger details aside. 

What are the less concrete, more flexible, and more easily changed smaller details?
These are the prime starting points for beneficial compromise. 

Respect is the language of compromise. Compromise communicates respect. 




softer emotion