Everyone, no matter our age, orientation or status, has days when they don’t feel they look their best. While the stereotype is that young women worry most about their body image, this is an issue that men struggle with also.

Huge pressures are put on young people to ‘look good’.  A survey in the UK found 25% of girls aged 7-10 felt the need to be ‘perfect’; in 2017 the main U.K. childrens’ charity had delivered more than 2,500 counseling sessions about negative body image issues, with more than 100 sessions with girls younger than 11. 

Body image isn’t necessarily about reality –it might not even reflect actual things like weight or height. What our image is based on is an idea or concept about attractiveness.  This is hard to define and varies through culture, individuals and outside influences.  Everyone has a different body image, and academics suggest that being able to evaluate your body means you need to be able to do two things:

     -  Assess yourself – to determine what you look like and how you might change

     -  Have something or someone to compare yourself to

A child can have a body image that is connected to the place and society they grow up and live in. These standards can move and change, especially as they grow into adulthood and beyond. 

It’s so important to help our children develop a realistic and healthy body image as early as possible (and alongside it, a healthy relationship with food). Puberty is the sticking point for both boys and girls, hormonal and growth changes begin to happen with puberty, while simultaneously the idea of romantic relationships rears it’s head, causing even more pressure to look a particular way. However, both can also experience poor body image before this kicks in.  

Our body image is always based on our own ideas about what looks good, and how we want to look; even those people who we consider to be attractive can struggle greatly with issues because of their own unhealthy relationship with their own minds and bodies.

As a positive, any child or young person can have good body image, regardless of height, weight or other physical characteristics; however other pressures can change this positivity into negativity. 

Of course, the impact of social media, entertainment, peer group and advertising is well-documented and well-known.  What other issues a bit closer to home might need some attention?

Family and social interactions can affect body image in three ways:

     -  Perceptions of family relations

     -  The behaviour and attitudes of mothers (particularly for women)

     -  Direct communication

The way your family behaves (frequency and depth of conflict / inclusive or exclusive behavior / warmth, empathy and engagement versus repression, coldness, ignoring and removal) can impact both positively and negatively on your child’s body image.

As parents, our behavior can also be a main factor in the child’s body image. For example, girls whose mothers were critical of their eating habits or appearance were more likely to have body image issues.  The same goes for parents (of any gender) who criticise their own body and eating habits openly in front of children.  
Sincerely complimenting our kids for positive attributes - if we talk about what bodies can do, and how to stay healthy rather than a narrow focus on weight or beauty - can directly benefit their body image.

It’s vital that our children feel okay about how they look, and not let their looks dominate their sense of self-worth.

How to promote a healthy body-image at home

1. Sympathise with their concerns and validate the pressures they feel.

2. Be positive about your own body, or at least not obviously negative.

3. Both parents should be involved in promoting body image if possible – fathers play a particular role in supporting positive body image in girls.

4. Don’t sexualize appearance and relationships - jokes about protecting very young girls from boys, aggression being equated with strength, or ‘they only pick on you because they like you’ scenarios can plant seeds of negative self-image from an early age.

Talking to your children – even from a young age - about issues around body image, in an age appropriate way can help.

Parents, have a relaxed conversation with children to find out what they are thinking and what they might be worried or insecure about. It is important for young people to know that their parents care about how they feel.

You might disagree with what they think of feel their concerns aren’t a real issue, but it’s important that they feel validated. If your child (not you as a parent) feel like they want to make changes to how they look, ensure sure you support them to do this in a healthy and realistic way. 

Body image can be important for children to explore how they define themselves. If how they see themselves depends heavily on their physical appearance, then any negative comments from home or elsewhere will hurt their image in a huge way. 

In order to have a strong self-image, parents should encourage young people to recognize strengths and the feelings of confidence they build, especially in times of doubt.

Every parent and every child is different. Even the most confident, happy and healthy families may struggle with body image issues. 

Look our for any red flags that  body image issues may be happening, and if your child is suddenly consumed about how they look, or strict about what and how much they eat - and seek help.