What is compassion, and why do we need it? Simply stated, we need compassion and when we are facing hard things.  It is having an encourager, a ‘cheerleader’ who is present, kind and loving and who motivates us to face those difficulties instead of turning away and avoiding them.  When someone is empathetic towards us, it switched us from feeling that we matter, and also what we experience matters. 

So if you don’t have a person who stands in the role of compassion, don’t worry. You can also show it towards yourself. In fact it is so important that instead of bringing blame and shame into our mindset when we face challenges, we put ourselves into the place of that trusted friend. Despite the temptation to feel inadequate, instead remember to show yourself kindness, care, forgiveness and awareness that everyone who has ever existed makes mistakes, and always will. Be mindful that you deserve grace for yourself, not just for the other people you love. 

Compassion to oneself can have a big impact on your emotions and your level of anxiety. It also contributes to greater resilience in the face of challenges and crises that are part of love. When we know where we struggle and respond with self-kindness instead of instant criticism, we will grow as a person and accept ourselves quicker despite our imperfections (and will be able to deflect the negative feedback from others who may offer non-constructive criticism).

Instead of wanting to retreat, our compassionate mindfulness will give us the strength to flourish.