When it comes to mindfulness, it requires a person to be able to spend time in self-examination and looking at their thoughts, feelings and what makes them tick. On paper that may seem like a relatively straightforward process, but in reality, reflecting inwardly is a big challenge to the majority of us.

Those who can reflect tend to be more in touch with their emotions and have heightened social intelligence - and in today’s society many people aren’t taught how to have these skills, as importance tends to be placed on a particular type of work ethic, educational level or physical ability. 

However, knowing your own mind helps to make the right choices, and to also understand how and why others behave in the way that they do. 

We tend to be so externally focused that we can be uncomfortable turning our gaze inwards. Being reflective is a new thing for many people, and the prospect of practicing it can make them shift uneasily in their seats. Sitting quietly for anything approaching a few minutes can be unbearable. We crave distraction, something we can lock our eyes on to take us away from any inner dialog. Stimuli and silence-fillers are our go-to. Like someone who can’t deal with pauses in conversation, we can struggle with quiet and gaps in activity. 

Be kind to yourself. As a society we have drifted so far into a world full of technology, noise, advertising, busyness, news, pressure. The input that we absorb can be so unwitting, that it soon becomes overwhelming. This is not to say that everything external to us is bad - some of it makes life a bit easier and gives us fulfilment - but in a life built on giving and also gaining from those externals, it’s now time to choose to fulfil those inner needs and be enriched on the inside too. 

Reflection and mindfulness is hard work, there is no doubt about it. There is no perfect way of doing it, even within the multitude of resources out there (yes, external resources again!).

Your mind is your mind, and it has a mind of its own! Recognise that all of the information and stimuli around you is like energy. It can either take it from you or give it to you, but you are the conduit. You control where that information and energy flows, and if there are any blockages or backlogs (emotionally and mentally speaking) that you need to address with gentleness and focus. 

Our attention spans can be so short, as we get pulled this way and that. Being accepting and open to that fact while also willing to work and grow on reflection is a fantastic move in the right direction. 

Rome wasn’t built in a day, and being able to comfortably sit with our inner person won’t happen overnight. Being kind to yourself is ALWAYS the first step.