As William Shakespeare said, “What’s in a name?”.  It is our names that form the basis of who we are. They are often the first words we are taught as newborns, and we are told stories about how our parents gave us the names we currently have.

Is it so important to use people's names? The name of a person is the closest connection to their own identity and individuality. Some might even say it is the most important word a person can have.

In many respects, it is one of the easiest ways to get someone's attention. It is an expression of courtesy and care. We feel respected and more important when someone remembers our name. If a person can't remember your name, especially after you’ve been asked to repeat it several times, it’s natural to feel a bit slighted. There are several reasons and excuses people give for forgetting names (for example, bad memory, poor listening, poor language skills, assumptions, self-absorption, inexperience). 

The idea you are bad at learning or remembering other people's names may be true, but don't let that stop you from improving. 

Ask for a pronunciation. Even if you have been friends for years, you should ask, “Have I been saying your name correctly?” This is an important way to show that their name matters to you. Making sure you say their name correctly going forward will be crucial for your relationship. Although sometimes people (if they are not native English speakers) will modify their name into an "English" one so it is easier for others to refer to them, it is important to refer to them by their given name since this is the name that personally means the most.  

Occasionally, people misuse names in situations where they are in a position of power.  Some beautiful names are based in culture, tradition and language, but many people felt that they had to “English” their names in order to avoid prejudice, racism and in order to ‘fit in’, if their name was actually given any consideration at all in the past, of course.

When you learn how to correctly pronounce their name, people appreciate your effort. If you still have difficulty understanding their name, ask them to spell it out, since this might also be helpful to you.

Using the name they have given you is the fastest and most reliable way to build rapport and make a good first impression. Do not call them by a nickname unless they have agreed to this. Don't forget that people want to be treated as human beings, not objects. When you use the name of another person correctly, it sends a clear message: this person has paid attention to you. You will note a difference in your relationships. 

We feel valued, seen and remembered when we feel noticed. We tend to relax, to connect, and feel more at ease in a relationship when we feel that we matter. Also, we tend to have a favourable opinion of the person who has remembered our name, and that just makes communication flow.