ON INTIMACY.

Have you ever felt “off” in your relationship; feeling as though there has been a time in the past when you felt “ON,” and this is not it.

Sometimes this can be the case when we forget to tend to these important aspects.

I am introducing a series of posts ON RELATIONSHIPS. The purpose of ON RELATIONSHIPS is to deliberately turn the switch with intentional work turning toward your partner ON intimacy, ON conflict, ON communication, ON connection.

So, here’s the first of the series looking toward turning ON intimacy by cultivating a culture of respect and appreciation.

Let’s look toward intimacy in relationships and turn it ON.

Take time to REFLECT:
How are you showing your partner that you value them as a unique human being?

In what ways do you exercise appreciation that they have autonomy as a person?

Respect is key to relationship satisfaction.

What have you done in the last 2 hours to let your partner know you are on their side?

• Did you put your phone down when they were talking to you so you could feel attentive?

• Did you share with them your day and hear what they are experiencing in theirs?

• Did you lean forward as they talked?

• Did you hear their needs and share yours?

• Did you notice and verbalize the contribution your partner is making to your relationship, your family, the community, or the world?

Now, take time to invite an INTENT toward turning ON intimacy in your relationship.

What can you do today to let them know that you want them to be all they choose to be? What can you do today to exercise generous appreciation that they have autonomy as a person?

• Ask questions like, “what is important to you here?” and “What do you feel are your choices in this?”

• Offer to sit near them or create an opportunity for them to experience solitude.

• Provide a “GO TEAM” mentality that it’s “you and me baby against the world!”

• Be generous in your appreciation on how you are noticing their values show up in this moment.

• Create opportunities to hear how your partner feels proud of their choices or actions that day.

Now, as you are tending to these two questions to turn ON Intimacy, take a moment to sit curiously with your own needs and how you are processing this moment of generously expressing value in your partner’s unique contribution and autonomy in the world.

As you do this, what surprises you? How have things shifted for you? What is important to you in this experience, and what are areas you are noticing as needs that are seeking fulfillment in this exercise of intimacy with your partner.