Sometimes we can get caught in a vicious circle, lying awake thinking of the things we want to do or think we should be doing, but aren’t. We start to feel guilty that we aren’t achieving these things daily, and one day’s missed opportunity rolls into the next day, and the next, gathering the things we want to do on those days into a big messy pile in the forefront of our minds.

This sense of snowballing can make us feel low-achieving, and that we are failing in life somehow. Our minds and bodies begin that slow creeping frazzled feeling, and starts to steal our peace of mind. The golden egg, so to speak, is to be able to accomplish the things we want and need, while also feeling peaceful at the same time. 

The general definition of inner peace is a sense of serenity and calm inside, which we allow to be maintained during, and sometimes despite external situations. This is in essence what self-care is about, and what it is for - peace. 

This does not mean that there are never any roadblocks in our lives. The question is how we maintain our calm and letting it spill into our outward situations. It might be finding satisfaction in our life the way it currently is, rather than how we wish it could be. 

Things happen. Our peace and joy can be stolen by a range of events. If you’re like me, anxiety is and always has been a major part of my life, even when I didn’t realise. 

Productivity and peacefulness are not opposites. If we feel that they are, then we have a misunderstanding of their definition. If you measure your self-worth by what and how much you are doing, guess what? You are NEVER going to feel enough. 

Your productivity is not the same as a to-do list. To be fully productive, you are living a life in such a way that your positive impact on yourself, others and the world is as fully expressed as it can be.

Get the right things achieved, not the most things. 

Stop ‘should-ing’ all over yourself.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” This is a hard truth. Looking at others can be a fast-track to poor self-worth and feelings of lack for what you don’t have. 

Take time to really be clear about your priorities. Think about where your time, skills, focus and efforts will be best directed. If you pinball from one action to the other, you’ll certainly be busy, but it may not be productive. 

We can often want everything, the best things, right now. Lack of patience, and the feeling that we should be at X point by now feeds into our feelings of unrest, jealousy, and that insidious theft of joy. 

Impostor syndrome is a real thing. We feel that even if we have achieved some things, we actually don’t deserve it. The feelings of inadequacy can be an undercurrent even if not based on fact. Chronic self-doubt makes you feel like a massive fraud. 

We can feel unproductive if we are far too busy, conversely we can also feel that way if we don’t have enough activity and challenge in our lives. Check your schedule - if it’s too full, reassess. If you find it a bit flat, introduce some variety. Know your personality and what works for you - what feeds an extrovert’s self-care can be very different to an introvert.