Intimacy and fingerprints are very much alike: no two are identical. 

Each partner in a relationship carries different views of intimacy and how connection and closeness are experienced at different times and in different ways, and these preferences can shift and change over the years.

Identifying and adapting to these differences help relationships grow as partners learn about the intimacy “fingerprint” of the other.

Asking each other questions like:

• When do you feel closest to me?

• What have I done in the past that made you feel connected to me (This can be the more physical forms of intimacy, like sex or snuggling. Intimacy can also be experienced when talking through dreams and ideas, or playing sports or games together, traveling and experiencing new things together, taking risks or sharing deep conversations with each other)?

• When you envision intimacy between us, what seems to get in the way? 

• What can I do to help notice and move that obstacle? 

• I would like you to ask me these questions too. So, how would you like to move from me understanding your “intimacy fingerprint” to you understanding mine? 

Healthy and secure relationships thrive when partners show intimacy to the other in ways that feel meaningful to each person.

If you feel this conversation could go deeper and you’d like someone to help walk you through understanding each other better, feel free to contact me, and I can help get you connected with a helpful clinician near you.

Love well. Love often.