Dear Friend, Pay Attention.

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We can be greatly affected by the things we notice around us.

Triggers can be over-simplified as benign events that have an interpretation or meaning for each individual. I sometimes refer to triggers as a current reaction to a past pain.

Imagine this, you may notice a person parked in a handicap spot who walks to and from the location without a care and automatically have many interpretations of what that may mean. Some may feel indignant that an able-bodied person is taking the spot, others may hope that he gets caught, some may feel annoyed that you didn’t think of it first, and some may feel indifferent or not even notice. One observable event has many interpretations.

What about current events or news? What do you notice about yourself as you peruse the headlines? What meanings, interpretations, and beliefs go through your mind or feel in your body?

How about when you surf social media and notice a friend or relative, or perhaps someone you don’t even know, has voiced an opinion or is sharing single-dimensional ideas without fact-checking or considering how the article or post has its own bias?

As we begin to pay attention to the triggers around us (articles, arguments, or otherwise) and see the affect it has on our emotional, mental, and physical health, we can begin to identify what temporary work we can do to pay attention to what we’re paying attention to.

  • Your” Media Free Mornings” - practice them with something or someone you enjoy. We need to pay attention to what we’re paying attention to.

  • When you’re watching a YouTube LIVE tour, reading, or tutorial, identify a few interesting and helpful ideas that you can bring into your moment and pay attention to what you’re paying attention to.

  • When you’re lying in bed, watching the ceiling fan blades orbit around the light, feel the breeze, blink and watch each blade pass, and pay attention to what you’re paying attention to.

  • When you’re washing your hands, smell the soap, feel the bubbles pop and watch them wash down the drain, and we can pay attention to what we’re paying attention to.

  • When conversations happen in the street and opposing views are shared, listen to your voice, sense their expression, notice the sounds and smells around you and consider the message your emotions are interpreting for you, and pay attention to what you’re paying attention to.

  • When you’re reading social media and find offense, feel triggered, or experience distress, pay attention to what you’re paying attention to.

    • Special notes for social media from my heart to yours …A great addition to social media is the “SNOOZE for 30 Days” option - this is the act of using “shelter in place for the heart,” where you can see if your emotional safety can benefit from sheltering close to home for a bit in an act of respect toward yourself and others. If it seems like some posts from a particular person or organization is triggering you more than others at this time, consider pressing “Snooze” and re-evaluate that relationship when the collective global stressors are less reactive. There are fewer regrets on social media when we add in the element of time, we need to pay attention to what we’re paying attention to.

    • If something feels too great of an offense to ignore, perhaps sending that person a message, in some cases you may “UNFOLLOW” that person or page, and please do not neglect the “UNFRIEND” option, while it may feel extreme, particularly at this time, we need to pay attention to what we’re paying attention to.

This mindfulness and grounding exercise of paying attention to what we’re paying attention to does not judge the emotional experience or response to a trigger as “good” or “bad” and it doesn’t require you to silence your internal dialogue - it simply helps direct the thoughts with intention - to pay attention to what we’re paying attention to.

Try it and see what you notice.