PARENTING THURSDAY: Happy Together

As children grow, they need experiences and relationships that demonstrate how special, capable, and valued they are. Positive input, responses and attitudes from key adults lay a foundation for their sense of value.

A healthy self-image for your child is essential, not only for the development of their relationship with others, but also for their confidence over time. Your child builds up a positive, loving self-image as he or she grows up, and develops a healthy mindset as they learn about the world around them. 

You can help your child feel secure and safe if you respond appropriately when they look at you or reassure them when they feel scared or uncertain. Smile at your child when they look into your eyes and reassure him or her when they feel uncertain or frightened. Your child has a greater chance of making friends and feeling confident as they explore their world. Children flourish in environments where they're encouraged, appreciated, and supported. These environments are essential for children's healthy development.

The activities you do each day can be an opportunity for meaningful connections with your child.

If your child is young or a bit older, you can do simple things everyday to make him or her feel important and special. 

For example: 

Look at your child and smile, show happiness that they are around; 

Show interest in what they are doing; ask if they can tell you about it.

Pay attention and listen closely when your child talks to you.

Create some family rituals that you can share with your child. 

Spend time being with your child and doing things that you both enjoy doing together. Praise the effort that your child makes when they learn a new skill or try something new. For example, “I like how you used that color in your drawing, it’s very effective” versus “oh that’s nice.”

If you're constantly correcting your child, this suggests to the child that they aren’t capable or worthwhile. Before correcting your child, ask yourself: Does it really matter, or could I just let it go? As the phrase goes, “catch them doing good”.

Attention, whether negative, positive or non-existent, will build up and have an ongoing impact over time. It’s important to provide more positive attention than criticism, and engagement rather than ignoring them. This positive input will provide your child with the all-important framework of feeling secure and valued, and someone with a role to play and a voice to be heard. If we stay mindful of the importance of positive attention, then it will outweigh those times when we allow frustration and distraction to color our responses.