Wellness Lab & Clinics

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MINDFULNESS MONDAY: Where We Wanna Be

To raise your self-esteem, you must first recognise and then question your negative self-beliefs. 

You can convince yourself that you are "too dumb" to apply for a new career, or that "nobody cares" about you. 

Start noting these negative feelings and writing them down on a piece of paper or in a notebook. When did you first begin to have these thoughts? 

Alongside those negative feelings, write down accompanying statements that are facts  about yourself, and are also statements that contradict these negative assumptions, such as "I'm very good at working out puzzles" or "My friend calls for a talk every week." 

Write down additional good attributes for yourself, such as "I'm focused," "I'm a great cook," or "I’m a very faithful friend." 

Often, you’ll have positive stuff that others have said about you (that poor self-esteem has maybe blocked you from believing fully).

Aim for at least 5 good items on your list, and add to that on a regular basis. Stick your list up somewhere where you can see it every day.  Keep telling yourself (out loud if necessary) that you're fine the way you are. 

You may have low self-esteem now as a result of what kind of upbringing you had, or certain things that happened to you as a child, but we can all learn and gain new perspectives on ourselves at any age.  It’s never too late to see yourself through a kinder, truer lens. 

People with low self-esteem often feel obligated to say yes to other people, even though they do not want to. You run the risk of being overburdened, resentful, furious, and frustrated. 

Saying no, for the most part, would not disrupt relationships. It can be beneficial to continue saying no in various ways until they get the message.