1 minute to a better relationship

Look at the time right now. What were you doing exactly one minute ago? 

Our lives are made up of a collection of minutes, and our relationships are no different. 

"Small things often" is a phrase that many successful couples carry throughout their day. How you press into this moment in your relationship is the fuel that can make this minute matter. We can love well by loving often. So, what does this look like? 

P R A C T I C E 

Imagine for a moment what it would feel like to be presented with a vase of 2 dozen roses. Now think about what it would be like to be surprised by receiving one rose each day for nearly a month. 

"Small things often" can be simple and direct, which makes it an easy way to enhance your relationship just by paying attention to this minute and how it can improve your connection with the one you love.


  • Choose 30 things from the list and do 1 thing every day for the next 30 days.

  • Give this list as a gift to a newly married couple.

  • Use 3 or 4 of these ideas as a fun Valentine’s Day surprise.

  • Print out the list (get a printable download HERE and cut each idea into a strip of paper. Pull out one idea a week and plan to make it happen.

  1. a well-timed compliment
  2. a thank you note
  3. an extra-long hug
  4. taking the extra minute to wipe down the shower when you're finished
  5. stopping to fill up the gas tank
  6. grabbing her favorite candy bar at the checkout counter
  7. holding hands while driving
  8. taking over a household chore
  9. humming "your song"
  10. complimenting your partner in public but within earshot
  11. turning off your phones for a meal together
  12. pillow talk
  13. a massage
  14. love notes via text or gif to touch base through the day
  15. save your favorite shows to watch together as a date night, outfitted with snacks and blankets
  16. buy his favorite gum for the car
  17. listen for her favorite song on the radio and let her know you listened to the whole thing (and maybe even sang the lyrics)
  18. buy a stack of cards at the dollar store and mail them to your partner randomly throughout the month
  19. give special attention to your partner when she is sick or discouraged (perhaps putting together a get-well box of her favorite things)
  20. get a stack of post-its and place love notes in places he'll find them and smile
  21. Turn off her alarm on the weekend and let her sleep in
  22. Re-stock the toilet paper and draw a heart on the top sheet
  23. buy his favorite coffee creamer
  24. wear her favorite cologne
  25. change the sheets and spray the pillows lightly with pillow mist or linen spray
  26. pick a flower from the garden and place it in the house
  27. light a candle during dinner
  28. start his car to warm it or scrape the ice from the windows
  29. put a note in his shirt pocket

  30. get a stack of cards from the Dollar Store (2 cards for $1) mail or hand deliver the cards

  31. purchase something from her favorite online store for her

  32. put toothpaste on his toothbrush as he's getting ready for the day

  33. make her coffeeput his favorite show on the watchlist of your streaming tv provider

  34. put his favorite show on the watchlist of your streaming tv provider

  35. charge his phone as soon as he gets home from work to prepare for "potty break/social media catch up" 

  36. create a pandora or spotify station with her favorite songs (the modern-day mixtape) 

  37. send a selfie picture with an inside joke only you two would know

  38. download an app that makes your mobile or social media pics into postcards and send him  photos of the two of you  or memories you've created together

  39. give each other a full-body one-minute bear hug

  40. listen to his interests and ask questions with eagerness

  41. change the sheets together and lie in the bed afterward enjoying Clean Sheet Day together

  42. send emails to each other with no other agenda but to say what you love or appreciate one another

  43. lean on each other while watching your favorite show

  44. 3 words: spontaneous dance party

  45. Make her favorite meal

  46. Wear his favorite color

  47. set the table with a tablecloth and ambient music to enjoy a special meal, even when it may be pizza (again)

  48. look at her pinterest boards and buy one of the items 

  49. check his amazon.com wishlist and buy one of the items

  50. watch youTube videos that will make both of you laugh till you cry


Love well.
Love often.
For as they say in Tibet, "If you take care of the minutes, the years will take care of themselves."