When you choose to indulge in the compulsion to share your opinion, criticism, advice, questions, judgment, presumptive conclusions, or even prepare your response while listening, you surrender the value of what you are able to give and receive through listening empathically and attentively. Screening out these urges while listening is one of the simplest methods to show respect for your partner and gain understanding.
The Turkish Proverb "If speaking is silver, then listening is gold" may have been written to highlight the benefit to the one speaking and feeling heard. However, the gift the listener receives is mutually invaluable.
- you will receive a deeper knowledge of her world
- you can experience a wider perspective of his experience
- she will be more likely to open up and share more intimately
- he will be more likely to listen when he has finished speaking
- you will increase in empathy and be able to focus on her rather than yourself
- he will feel respected
- she may feel more respect toward you
Intimate connections don't only exist in the bedroom. Conflict and discourse exist to generate intimacy. Learn to use empathic listening to give and receive invaluable gifts that help strengthen your unity and generate hope in your relationship.
LISTEN: Go fo the gold