How can you more deliberately hold onto a moment and mindfully engage in what is happening in the present? How can relational mindfulness improve levels of interest and attention, reduce conflict and increase peace, boost understanding and validation and dramatically affect levels of appreciation and overall enjoyment in your relationship?
Look at it this way:
When you chose to experience life with your partner exclusively, you chose to be WITH him. You chose not to be alone. You chose that a challenging moment with him is better than a good moment without him. You chose to engage in life TOGETHER.
So…be WITH your partner.
Avoid the notion that things may be better elsewhere or how things should be different, or how about spitting out the bitter taste of disappointment, blame, and anger over what you may feel is missing. Be WITH your partner.
Enjoy each other.
P R A C T I C E
How can you “seize the day” through engaging moment-by-moment with your partner with expectation, acceptance, and love?
Try this next time you feel as though you are focusing on your differences or not having exactly what you want:
- Slow down…take a breath.
- Focus on showing deliberate interest in your partner.
- Direct attention toward your partner and his needs.
- Strive to understand your partner. Ask her questions. Be curious.
- Appreciate and enjoy your partner.
- Treat him as though your life depends on it.
What we choose to pay attention to and how we pay attention to it can have a remarkably profound effect on the degree of reward, satisfaction, comfort and general happiness we experience within life and our relationship(s).
As a result of this, you may find that it is much easier to change the parts of your relationship that are less appealing, or perhaps it may turn out that it is a bit easier to tolerate those less-than-desirable qualities or characteristics within your relationship. After all, the grass is always greener where you water it.