When was the last time you found yourself upset that your partner did not follow through on his word, did not appreciate something you did or was not pulling her own weight in your shared responsibilities?
It can be easy to look at this chasm of differences and experience the heavy burden of resentment towards your partner.
How can he just toss his things on the clean counter? Doesn't he realize that it took me all day to organize the clutter in this place?
Can't she get up from the couch and help me take care of the garden? I have been working out here all day long!
Look at him just sit on the chair as soon as he gets home from work. I would just LOVE to sit around and watch people wait on me.
When will she actually come home on time like she said he would? I hate having to eat a cold meal when I try to make it special.
It is impossible to experience contempt and gratitude at the same time.
The key to abolishing resentment is increasing appreciation. There is true freedom in a relationship when a couple can find ways to recognize actions, qualities, differences, accomplishments, and responsibilities in each other.
Try answering one of these questions today:
How have I shown my gratitude to my partner today?
What am I taking for granted in my partner that, if I stop to think about it, I am grateful for?
The key then to abolishing resentment in your relationship lies merely in your ability to stop, notice, and acknowledge what you appreciate in your partner (through the task he is doing or has done, the quality she is showing, the accomplishments he has made, or the differences she has).