25 DAYS to a closer relationship

Well, there's no surprise here. The holidays are upon us. 

While some may sense the holiday cheer in the air, other may still crave it in their relationship. 

This simple activity spans December 1 through Christmas. If you happen to celebrate one of the many other holidays during the season, I would love to hear how you adapted this activity to fit your relationship more specifically.

at home couples therapy - christmas


Rediscover your partner’s world.
Prep time: 5 minutes
Timeframe: 5 minutes to 60 minutes each day in December through Christmas. 

The objective here is to learn more about your partner than you already know.
This may be challenging for couples who have been together for years or who feel more attuned to each other.
In any case, here are your INSTRUCTIONS:

  • Take the following list of questions and place each question on a slip of paper.
  • Fold the paper, and take turns picking the questions out of a jar and asking them to each other.
  • Here are some adaptations to this exercise:
    • Both of you can answer the same question.
    • You can answer the question for yourself or answer the question according to what you *think* your partner’s answer would be.
    • You can offer one “skip” only if that person creates another open-ended question to replace it. 


  1. What do you think your great-grandchildren will remember about you?
  2. How do you feel when you’re with a person who speaks a different language?  Why?
  3. Who is your favorite story-teller?
  4. When I complete a job or task, I feel…
  5. What is your image of a perfect garden?
  6. What kind of a store would you like to own and operate?
  7. What can you learn about a person in the way they deal with disputes?
  8. What is the most sentimental possession that you have?
  9. Describe your dream vacation. Who would be there, where would you go, and what would you do?
  10. What do you wish others knew or understood about you that you think they usually don’t?
  11. If you were a mouse, what is the most daring thing you would try to do while the cat was away?
  12. What kind of people are the happiest people in the world?
  13. Tell about a time when you felt proud of yourself…
  14. What historical figure would you like to have known?
  15. What do you do when you are happy? sad? hungry? angry?
  16. If you were to move to a poor primitive country, what 3 things would you most miss from your current life?
  17. What activity do you engage in that involves all of your mind, body & soul?
  18. What do poor people need most?
  19. What is something you do pretty well?
  20. What would you like to invent? Why?
  21. Is it as easy for you to talk about your failures and goof-ups as it is to talk about your successes?  Why?
  22. If laughter were the fuel in the tank of life, would your gauge show your tank to be full, ½ full, or nearly empty?  Why?
  23. In your life right now, do you feel that you are holding onto things tightly or loosely?  Which are you hanging on to more tightly than others?  Why?
  24. What are 3 barriers that keep you from reaching your full potential?  What would most help you overcome these barriers?
  25. Share one of the happiest days of your life.