What distinguishes one day from another? How does a seemingly broken relationship experience repair? How can the love and connection you feel now or felt in the past become something that endures, even during times of conflict and distress?

Be clear about your aim.

There is a purpose to your relationship. Unless your culture promotes arranged marriages, you likely had a moment with your partner when you chose each other purposefully. Even in arranged marriages, there is often a time when each partner makes the deliberate choice to experience connection and intimacy.

What does this mean? How can this same mindset strengthen your relationship? It certainly implies that you already have what it takes to continue the momentum you have or restore the intimate connection you encountered in the early stages together.

How does aiming well serve a purpose in your relationship?

As you open your eyes in the morning and see your partner beside you, bring purpose to the choice to connect by consciously envisioning how your relationship is becoming stronger. As you sit next to your partner in the car, on the couch, or at meals, breathe deeply and say to yourself, "As I breathe in the smell of everything around me and notice the colors around me and the scenery, I am going to notice my partner. I will pay attention to her, the way her mouth moves as she speaks, how her eyes move about the room when silently thinking, how she is looking at me. I am going to experience every feeling, sound, and sensation here right now, and this is how I am strengthening our relationship right now."