Communication tip: Don't Jump.
When conflict arises, so can our defenses and our ability to jump to conclusions. We CANNOT be present in the relationship if we are not present in the NOW.
As arguments heat up, how can we recognize the inherent human drive to leap from our present awareness and fall into a seemingly endless chasm of anxiety, criticism, and rejection, where we are helplessly preparing for the worst, and fearing a hopeless return of the past?
B R E A T H E - hope is near.
Now, CHOOSE to focus on the value of what is being said. Literally. Listen to the cadence. Hear the genuine words. Watch them leave your partner's mouth. See the expression on his face. Look at the way she is moving. Notice his posture. Observe your surroundings.
CHOOSE to generate awareness in yourself, stay in the moment by making deliberate observations and providing feedback on what you are noticing about your partner or your own experience.
Rather than relying on an instinctive defensive posture, soften your stance, breathe tenderness into your emotional reaction.
Invite awareness back into your NOW.