Ah, the heady days of young love. Smart, charming, fun, romantic - any little quirks consigned to the drawer marked “cute” or hidden under a mountain of excitement. Fast forward some years, and those cute habits are now a source of irritation and daily quiet rage. 

You might begin to hanker for things to be different, and it’s a good thing to want the best for your other half, and for them to shine with your support; but when support crosses the line into trying to change them into what you want, it can spell trouble. 

 It’s ok to have an expectation that you will both change and develop as people,  however, this change needs to be organic and not something that you feel you can manipulate and make happen.

Healthy change can only come through time and not through force. 

Respect is an important feature in relationships. Considering the welfare, feelings and wellbeing of another with contribute to their sense of safely, value and security. Trying to change their personality is a sign of disrespect and can cause a fracture in intimacy and trust. 

If an individual decides to embark on their own personal growth and development, this is a good thing if carried out with a mindset of caring and compassion for their partner. It needs to be for the right reasons and in a way that doesn’t drive them away.

If you are constantly finding fault and endeavoring to change each other, you are telling your partner that what they are is not good enough. 

Show love and respect. Remember what you fell in love with in the first place, and try to rediscover and encourage that in each other. Revisit your goals. Be honest about your own self, and whether time and circumstances have made you lose touch with your best characteristics. Help each other rekindle love for themselves.
Enjoy each other for who you are right now, not for some potential benchmark in the future.