How often do we fall into the comparison trap? It’s a headspace fraught with damage to our well-being when we link our worth on how we look, our productiveness, or our status, and so on. Your value is not the same as what you do or achieve, it’s a lie that the world around us can spin, and a mindset that only produces failure.
We have it round the wrong way in so many areas - for a person the thrive, it has to come from a place of self-worth. Things like losing weight, buying that next new thing, getting a promotion, having a good relationship.... these need to be born from a sense of being worthy and then attaining these things, rather than only feeling good about ourselves when and only when we’ve had some personal success. Basing our worth on our achievements can’t last. It only takes a set-back to make us feel like the worst.

We all have the potential to only like ourselves if things are going well, giving those external things far too much power than they deserve to have.

Switch your thinking - it is because you have deep value that you are able to accomplish these things. It’s normal to seek validation from others at times, but it is healthy to recognise when you feel that way. When we acknowledge a problem, we can then deal with it.

Why is it important for you to be validated by someone/something else?

It’s ok to want appreciation for your efforts and for people to compliment you, but if you are completely wrapped up in needing it in order to feel valuable, then there is some self work to be done with your sense of fear or need. Are those fears based on reality, or has something gone wrong in our past, overshadowing our ‘right now’?

We need people around us for support and community. To love us, to understand us and to encourage us - but consider that in seeking validation, what you are really seeking is attention. How much attention and time can you actually give yourself?

This is not the same as self-isolating - we need other people to share life - but when you take time to think about your needs, and to truly value yourself (especially if you’ve habitually put yourself way down the pecking order), maybe you’ll realise your own worth and start to believe it.