I get it, we’re busy. It’s easy to put off self-care and easy to ignore our minds and bodies telling us to take a break. Self-care is anything that that helps you avoid health issues farther down the track - stress has been well-proven to affect heart health and the digestive system. The impact on our mental and physical health cannot be understated either - we need some balance in our modern environment, full of stimuli, noise, and busyness.

Looking after ourselves is important for our well-being.

And we’re terrible at it.

One issue is our view of self-care. We listen to the voices of “well in my day we worked from 6am to 9pm, with a half-day off on Sunday” or “only stop if you’re very, very ill” for example. We can tend to wrap feelings of guilt around self-care and see it as being selfish and self-indulgent. Is it wrong to take a step back in order to do something that makes us feel better?

It’s so important to be kind to yourself. A lot of contemporary writing mentions having little treats to feel better (women’s magazines, I’m looking at you!) - bubble baths. A chocolate bar. A new lipstick. Quick fixes that do give us a little boost. Of course these are lovely - who doesn’t like a treat? However they aren’t sustainable, and that feeling of wellness is only temporary. If we chronically ignore our own health and well-being, it will effect our ability to focus on tasks and to be present for others.

In the same way we would hopefully check in with our friends and family to make sure they are OK, we also need to check in with ourselves. Wanting to be healthier, happier and more aware of our likes, abilities and what we can or can’t give is far from an act of selfishness. By taking care of ourselves, we create a ripple effect to those around us. It can highlight where relationships may actually be dysfunctional, and some people in your circle might protest against your self-care stance because they have demanded too much from you in the first place; but in healthy relationships it can be a case of leading by example. If we become ‘well’ in the fullest sense of the word, we also become relationally stronger too.

What if that misnamed ‘indulgence’ is actually vital? From its base meaning, it means to do yourself a favor, to treat yourself with some grace and compassion. And don’t we all need that?