How can we find ways to enhance the good and positive things in our relationships?
Have you found that the daily frustrations, character flaws, and annoyances in your partner or relationship seem to pop up everywhere and overwhelm nearly everything, and often during the most inconvenient times?
It is possible that you are watering the weeds instead of the flowers.
Watering the flowers can look like deliberately looking for positive qualities in your partner or relationship that you can verbalize. Finding ways to feed your soul, your partner, and your relationship with gratitude, appreciation, respect, and positive expectation can lead to significant benefits: Your perspective of your partner and relationship can immediately reflect what you are choosing to attend, you may notice that "the weeds" or negative qualities or characteristics become less intense, happen less frequently, and seem to lose their prominence in the life of your relationship.
Try this: Begin today to start a few sentences each day with "I notice..." and follow it with something positive about what you see, hear, or experience in your partner or relationship.
I noticed...that you chose to wipe the counters after dinner. Thank you.
I just noticed...that you put your hand out for me to hold it while we were walking. The dependability of our relationship is so reassuring to me.
I noticed...that you spent your afternoon pulling weeds in the garden. Thank you for your hard work.
I notice...that each time you buy coffee, you give me your full punch card. That is so thoughtful.
I have noticed...that you started wearing a new cologne, it smells crisp and clean.