COMMUNICATION FRIDAY: Everybody’s Talkin’

What is communication? In its simplest form, it is the passing of information from one source or person to another. However, we can always strive to communicate better and aim for personal goals in our home life, social life and work life. A benefit of better communication is that we can begin to feel more confident too.

When communicating verbally, whether in speech or in writing, there are a few hints and tips to work on:

Lessen the use of certain incorrect phrases, i.e. “I could care less” doesn’t mean you don’t care, it actually means you do. If you don’t care, say it plainly. 

“Defiantly” isn’t the same as “definitely”.  

“Walla” isn’t the same as “Voilà”.  

When you use "All I know is . . ." to start a sentence, you run the risk that the listener will take your words literally, and assume that you don't know anything else. Say something like “Here are the facts as I understand them...” instead.

“It is what it is.” Saying this puts you at risk of appearing unwilling to change or have an opinion. The same as saying “Period” or “end of” when you’ve finished talking, as if to say you are inflexible and lack openness to another opinion or the fact you might actually be wrong. 

Watch your tone and how quickly you speak - it may convey an attitude that you don’t mean to show.

Be more encouraging and positive in your words. “Good job” and “well done” don’t really mean anything. Praise the effort (“You worked really hard on that” or “I admire how you solved that issue yourself” for example), rather than praising the result. Be specific when you can, and think of other words instead of ‘good’ or ‘great’.  Move beyond the clichés.

Spring clean your speech! Of course, it depends who you are talking to and which context, but have another look at the words you use. Do you swear inappropriately? Do you ‘um and ah’ a lot? Use filler words too much (e.g. like, so, well, you know)? Slang words that others might not understand? Poor grammar? Text speak? Misspelled words?

Like it or not, people form an opinion of us (and vice versa) depending on how we communicate. It can be helpful to talk to people you trust and who know you well, and ask for their feedback about your communication skills - where your strengths and weaknesses lie. Set realistic goals with where you want to improve, and increase your confidence where what you say is actually what you mean, and is really how you want to express yourself.