There is something we are not “supposed” to look for, yet we so often crave. And that thing is praise. We can think that praise is something natural and organic - you do something well, you get praised. You identify a good thing in someone else, and you praise it.

However, receiving and giving praise, especially in relationships, can easily drift away. When we feel we know each other so well, or the daily grind and unmet needs start to wear us down a little, we can often overlook the praiseworthy things in each other.
Praising your partner can be a very powerful thing. Think about it - even though there is value in constructive criticism, would you rather be criticised or praised? What about your partner - what would they prefer?

Quickly, many of us can identify a potential imbalance. What do we give more?

Can you think of the good things in your partner? When was the last time you praised them? Do they know that you have their back?

It can be an easy way to boost your relationship by verbalizing what is uniquely special in your partner. Criticism pulls us down, but praise revitalises.

Lack of interest, shrugs and distraction can be even worse for killing passion. The more a relationship veers from being full of love and appreciation, the more isolated each person can become.

If you cannot think of anything to appreciate in your partner, then it’s a good indication that you’ve become detached from the relationship. Think back to what you first loved about them, and what made you interested in them as a person. Tap into those feelings and reestablish them. Once you are concrete in how you feel, try again to notice what you like.
Assumption is a relationship killer - don’t just think they know how you feel, tell them. The more you boost your partner’s esteem, the more you will uncover, and the more contentment you feel in the relationship.

Be sincere in your praise - look the other person in the eye and tell them of their worth in a meaningful and honest way. Don’t just mention it in passing, but take the time to really invest in praise.

Think of some examples where your partner helps you or has made a particular area of your life better - you’ll often find that what they bring to the relationship differs from your own qualities.

What happens if the other partner doesn’t reciprocate with praise? Yes, this can and does happen - the hope is that one day, the positivity will ignite a spark and they will take notice of your qualities again. However - the best praise is given freely without expectation of anything given in return. It makes you become a more open person; someone who notices and empathises, giving love to those around you. Who wouldn’t benefit from that kind of personal growth?

Give freely, and see what happens.